Connundrum of a Housewife/Artist
What’s your tipping point? I think mine comes in two to three week cycles. I ignore the housework/bill paying/business side of things because I don’t like doing them. But then I can’t do the navel-staring, creative, art making either because I’m distracted by the crumbs on the floor and whatever that is growing in the sink. Besides, there’s always a looming activity for someone to be shuttled to, an appointment to be met, or an unexpected urgency of some sort or another. So, the fires get put out, the boring stuff gets put off, and the fun stuff still waits for the perfect timing. This week looks pretty good for me, so the conundrum is “put off the housework and get into art-making?” or “clean up really well so I can concentrate on fun projects without distraction?” I was leaning towards fun stuff, but I needed to renew my car registration sooner rather than later. That ate up my whole morning, so instead of my intended late-morning navel staring, I got home just in time to pick up and feed kids. So then I vacuumed. And cleaned behind the fridge and stove (not in front though). A good vacuuming can do wonders for me, so I almost thought I could postpone any more cleaning for another week. But no, I did the music class taxi thing and now it’s time to make dinner. Maybe this IS the week for heavy cleaning (the bathrooms are calling and the front of the kitchen appliances and cabinets want to match the backs). Next week is looking good for art.
July 3rd, 2007 at 6:50 pm
For heaven’s sake, get a cleaning woman!
July 3rd, 2007 at 6:53 pm
Would the rest of Kristin’s art community back me up on this thought. I’m sure she is a talented bathroom cleaner but she is a unique artist and I hate to see her time squandered. MIL
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Yep, a cleaning person would be good. I am afraid I would “pick up” before they got here and end up doing half of their job because I didn’t want them to know what slobs we really are! (grin) I too get distracted by the crumbs on the floor. So I clean thinking that I’ll create when I get done. Then there is laundry, groceries, yard and bam! before you know it a week has gone by and you have to start the cycle all over. Create when the mood or muse strikes! The housework and chores aren’t going anywhere, unfortunately. I think everyone struggles with this problem, sigh. Have a happy Fourth!
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:24 pm
I meant to/should have prefaced this post stating that I know I am not alone in this. My world would truly be rocked if I found out that most creative people DON’T struggle with the make art/clean up the mess dilemma. So, no sympathy or pity necessary. I know a cleaning person would free me up to do more creative work, but I’m not ready to do that. It’s hard to justify a cleaning person when I’m home to be just that. My art is certainly not a full time job — bringing in the money to pay for someone to do what I don’t want to do. Yes, Jeannie, I do often create when the mood strikes, and yes, the housework waits patiently for me. What I was trying to say was that I have a threshold of just how long the housework should wait and I have reached it this week. I also have friends who are cleaning women, and I guess as long as I’m not willing to ask my friends to clean my house, I have a mental block against asking any of our peers to either. So there you go. I’m just letting the rest of the world know that I too, live in a filthy house when I’m on a creative roll, and I too, have to put the art on a back burner when I reach that point where I’m worried about what the neighbors might smell.
July 3rd, 2007 at 9:36 pm
Tradition holds that in my case that I clean when there is a full moon – especially stuff like polishing furniture or shoes. Even with a cleaning lady. Now sometimes it feels good to clean but I must say, there are times when it feels GREAT to come home to a clean house. One way to look at it is that if you know someone who s a cleaning lady, you’re helping her out by giving her work. And jut because you don’t have a salary doesn’t mean that your work isn’t valuable. So there.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:19 pm
Sigh. All of the above. En plus, I am now “working” from home, which means I stare at all of the above during the day. Well, I stare at all my fabric and knitting needles and what-not AND the dishes and the laundry…. No shortage of distractions around here. I clean for the cleaning lady (2x a month) because A) I don’t want her to think we’re TOTAL slobs adn B) if I don’t, she hides stuff and we don’t find it for another month.
And my driver’s license should have been renewed three months ago. …
I’ve often wondered (and I think I know the answer) if men struggle with this particular conflict.
All I can say is, heed your muse when she calls.
July 3rd, 2007 at 10:30 pm
I’m with the other family members on this. Give your friends some work. They have efficiencies and no personal distractions in your house so I’d guess their attitude is different about cleaning. Have them come in once a month and you can always do it the alternating weeks when the mood strikes
Besides, did I send you to art school so you could be a great housekeeper?
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:00 pm
I’m for the cleaning lady. I have one myself and I think it was a great decision. You teach classes. Maybe you could set aside some of the money made there for the cleaning lady. But only if that makes you feel like it’s somehow justifying the expense. Needing a cleaning lady is,in my opinion, justified by the fact that you could be doing something creative and productive with your time, rather than cleaning. Art needs lots of practice and you can’t practice and scrub the toilet at the same time.
July 3rd, 2007 at 11:09 pm
You could do what was the standard method back in the 1970’s. Set a timer for 45 minutes. work like a crazy woman cleaning that entire time. You MUST stop when the timer goes off. Do this as many days in a week you think are necessary, usually every other day. I bet the kids will even want a 10 minute timer set for them to work on their bedrooms. You will be amazed how much will be cleaned. And…..like I always tell my freinds, I dust twice a year whether it needs it or not!
July 4th, 2007 at 2:34 am
It’s a classic, your condundrum. My only advice, even though you didn’t ask for any is to learn to fake it–shove crap in closets, drawers, etc. and pretend nothing else bothers you. (I had to look for a ball that rolled away from Sofi yesterday–under my sofa. Oh. My. God)
Like you, I always felt hiring cleaning done was an extravagance unless I was working full time outside, but in my old age I am feeling more entitled. Cleaning services are really great for dirty bathrooms and gummy kitchen floors, which really are hard to ignore.
And to Mom and MIL–you are both the best, and wouldn’t six months of a cleaning woman’s services make a great birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift? If it were a gift it would be guilt-free! Hint. Hint.
July 4th, 2007 at 7:49 am
Kristin, I’m right there with you on this one and I can’t even pretend that my crafting is “art”. I love it, but I can’t call it art. (ok, I could, but it would be really silly and pretntious of me to try it and real artists like yourself would laugh at me) I’m about at my tipping point as well — but I have so many other things I would rather do. I know my husband doesn’t even see the dirt, which drives me even more insane than the dirt does in the first place! Hmm…guess I need to drag out the vaccum.
July 4th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
come on kristin, give someone the chance to do good and clean your house for you.. grin grin.. I know for a fact that there are people that enjoy cleaning (sheesh – yet another thing not embedded in my chromosome make up.. bummer) – and they are thrilled to receive some money for it as well. Just ask around if someone knows somebody reliable close by that would come like one morning every 2 weeks or so while their kids are in school. Win/Win situation, huh? Oh – and btw, even if you claim I´ve seen your house messy and in need of cleaning, it´s never been as bad as you´d like us to believe.. lol.. or am I just blind on the picture perfect eye?
July 4th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
There have already been suggestions about how to handle this conundrum so I won’t add much to it, except to say — ME TOO…..
I do find though that when it comes to that “tipping point” I am like a deer caught in headlights and am unable to progress in either direction — the cleaning calls, the crafting/quilting/crochet/knitting/altered books constantly whisper in the other ear — I am lucky to have a husband who is an organizer and just picks things up and sweeps and washes and organizes, just cause, and I watch in amazement and a bit of guilt (but I have learned to swallow the guilt and accept the clean house)
July 4th, 2007 at 7:07 pm
Well, your quilt mom is late to this. All I can say is that I am having a huge deja vu, reading your post. I was a stay at home mom, trying to be an artist. I used to weave when we lived on the east coast. I could get lots done in the winter when their was less running around with kids. I think you are feeling the summer time blues. Having children around 24/7 gets very hectic. So, give yourself a break! I like Terry’s method of faking it.
I would give anything to have a lifetime of art and quilting ahead of me. Hopefully, you do. Enjoy the time with the kids this summer, Do one room of the house each day – allow one hour. Squeeze in some art time. Fall will be here soon.
July 5th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Everyone is so wise. And I need to hear all this too. You know I’m right with you. I won’t clutter up the comments with more of the same, but I will say that I’ve got a cleaning lady scheduled for next week before the next round of summer visitors arrive.
July 8th, 2007 at 7:24 am
I’m reading this post after a day spent cleaning bathrooms and tidying up the house. The tipping point was reached, in fact, it had tipped and spilled out all over the floor, poured out he front door and was running down the driveway. Greg did an enormous clean up outside so the neighbors didn’t think we’d abandoned the house.
Tomorrow morning I plan to rise early, tidy up my sewing room and spend the day working on a new project. I need a certain amount of orderliness around me to work and the house had just passed that point of no return.
I’m not much for paying someone for services I feel I can do myself. I certainly agree with all the advice, I used to have a couple clean my house every week when I was working full-time. I think my position about doing it now is definitely more idealogical rather than being able to afford it.
I do often ponder how I ended up taking on traditional housewife duties that is so not the feminist me. Leaving the paid work force and staying home with the kids has created all types of confusion in what my ‘role’ actually is. Pushing my ‘hobby’ in the direction of a ‘business’ seems to rationalize in my own mind that I don’t have to be a housewife.
Not sure any of this is making sense but I feel like I got what you were writing about and it’s something I think about a lot. For now I’m going to keep juggling and trying to squeeze out more time for my work. It does get easier as the kids get older, they can make their own breakfast and lunch, load the dishwasher and participate in cleaning the house as a family event. All things my mother never asked or expected me or my 3 sisters to do, even as teenagers! I definitely don’t want to repeat that legacy.