Comments on: Connundrum of a Housewife/Artist

By: kathy

kathy — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 05:24:44 +0000

I’m reading this post after a day spent cleaning bathrooms and tidying up the house. The tipping point was reached, in fact, it had tipped and spilled out all over the floor, poured out he front door and was running down the driveway. Greg did an enormous clean up outside so the neighbors didn’t think we’d abandoned the house.

Tomorrow morning I plan to rise early, tidy up my sewing room and spend the day working on a new project. I need a certain amount of orderliness around me to work and the house had just passed that point of no return.

I’m not much for paying someone for services I feel I can do myself. I certainly agree with all the advice, I used to have a couple clean my house every week when I was working full-time. I think my position about doing it now is definitely more idealogical rather than being able to afford it.

I do often ponder how I ended up taking on traditional housewife duties that is so not the feminist me. Leaving the paid work force and staying home with the kids has created all types of confusion in what my ‘role’ actually is. Pushing my ‘hobby’ in the direction of a ‘business’ seems to rationalize in my own mind that I don’t have to be a housewife.

Not sure any of this is making sense but I feel like I got what you were writing about and it’s something I think about a lot. For now I’m going to keep juggling and trying to squeeze out more time for my work. It does get easier as the kids get older, they can make their own breakfast and lunch, load the dishwasher and participate in cleaning the house as a family event. All things my mother never asked or expected me or my 3 sisters to do, even as teenagers! I definitely don’t want to repeat that legacy.

By: Deborah

Deborah — Thu, 05 Jul 2007 16:22:51 +0000

Everyone is so wise. And I need to hear all this too. You know I’m right with you. I won’t clutter up the comments with more of the same, but I will say that I’ve got a cleaning lady scheduled for next week before the next round of summer visitors arrive.

By: Gerrie

Gerrie — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 17:07:04 +0000

Well, your quilt mom is late to this. All I can say is that I am having a huge deja vu, reading your post. I was a stay at home mom, trying to be an artist. I used to weave when we lived on the east coast. I could get lots done in the winter when their was less running around with kids. I think you are feeling the summer time blues. Having children around 24/7 gets very hectic. So, give yourself a break! I like Terry’s method of faking it.

I would give anything to have a lifetime of art and quilting ahead of me. Hopefully, you do. Enjoy the time with the kids this summer, Do one room of the house each day – allow one hour. Squeeze in some art time. Fall will be here soon.

By: Susan Barker

Susan Barker — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 13:05:33 +0000

There have already been suggestions about how to handle this conundrum so I won’t add much to it, except to say — ME TOO…..

I do find though that when it comes to that “tipping point” I am like a deer caught in headlights and am unable to progress in either direction — the cleaning calls, the crafting/quilting/crochet/knitting/altered books constantly whisper in the other ear — I am lucky to have a husband who is an organizer and just picks things up and sweeps and washes and organizes, just cause, and I watch in amazement and a bit of guilt (but I have learned to swallow the guilt and accept the clean house)

By: sid

sid — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 10:04:46 +0000

come on kristin, give someone the chance to do good and clean your house for you.. grin grin.. I know for a fact that there are people that enjoy cleaning (sheesh – yet another thing not embedded in my chromosome make up.. bummer) – and they are thrilled to receive some money for it as well. Just ask around if someone knows somebody reliable close by that would come like one morning every 2 weeks or so while their kids are in school. Win/Win situation, huh? Oh – and btw, even if you claim I´ve seen your house messy and in need of cleaning, it´s never been as bad as you´d like us to believe.. lol.. or am I just blind on the picture perfect eye?

By: Angela

Angela — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 05:49:59 +0000

Kristin, I’m right there with you on this one and I can’t even pretend that my crafting is “art”. I love it, but I can’t call it art. (ok, I could, but it would be really silly and pretntious of me to try it and real artists like yourself would laugh at me) I’m about at my tipping point as well — but I have so many other things I would rather do. I know my husband doesn’t even see the dirt, which drives me even more insane than the dirt does in the first place! Hmm…guess I need to drag out the vaccum.

By: terry grant

terry grant — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 00:34:04 +0000

It’s a classic, your condundrum. My only advice, even though you didn’t ask for any is to learn to fake it–shove crap in closets, drawers, etc. and pretend nothing else bothers you. (I had to look for a ball that rolled away from Sofi yesterday–under my sofa. Oh. My. God)

Like you, I always felt hiring cleaning done was an extravagance unless I was working full time outside, but in my old age I am feeling more entitled. Cleaning services are really great for dirty bathrooms and gummy kitchen floors, which really are hard to ignore.

And to Mom and MIL–you are both the best, and wouldn’t six months of a cleaning woman’s services make a great birthday/Christmas/Valentine gift? If it were a gift it would be guilt-free! Hint. Hint.

By: Wanda

Wanda — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 21:09:20 +0000

You could do what was the standard method back in the 1970’s. Set a timer for 45 minutes. work like a crazy woman cleaning that entire time. You MUST stop when the timer goes off. Do this as many days in a week you think are necessary, usually every other day. I bet the kids will even want a 10 minute timer set for them to work on their bedrooms. You will be amazed how much will be cleaned. And…..like I always tell my freinds, I dust twice a year whether it needs it or not!

By: Malka

Malka — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 21:00:52 +0000

I’m for the cleaning lady. I have one myself and I think it was a great decision. You teach classes. Maybe you could set aside some of the money made there for the cleaning lady. But only if that makes you feel like it’s somehow justifying the expense. Needing a cleaning lady is,in my opinion, justified by the fact that you could be doing something creative and productive with your time, rather than cleaning. Art needs lots of practice and you can’t practice and scrub the toilet at the same time.

By: Mom

Mom — Tue, 03 Jul 2007 20:30:08 +0000

I’m with the other family members on this. Give your friends some work. They have efficiencies and no personal distractions in your house so I’d guess their attitude is different about cleaning. Have them come in once a month and you can always do it the alternating weeks when the mood strikes Besides, did I send you to art school so you could be a great housekeeper?