The pucker quilt is boring and depressing now. I hate working on it because all the puckers just remind me of what a horrible quilter I am and how the quilt is now worthless (I know these things aren’t true, but this is what the quilt is telling me). I have redone so much of it and it’s just a practice quilt, so it’s not at all worth the time and effort I’ve invested in it. But still, I’d like to finish it so it can be donated and do some little bit of good in the world. Yet, it’s going slowly and is a black cloud over my head.
So I’m avoiding it by doing other boring things. I cleaned my desk, balanced the checkbook, paid some bills, and added some recent items to my “art business” accounting spreadsheet. I know it’s bad form to actually talk money and stuff, but this years’ numbers (and presumably most of my years’ numbers if I had bothered to pay as close attention as this year, and a good portion of everyone else’s numbers I’m guessing) are pretty sad. To date I have spent $3017 on art-related things. That’s mannequins for my show, new business cards, drawing pads and pencils, parking at venues, thread, batting, paying someone else to quilt Zeitgeist, mailing to shows, contest entry costs, etc. Granted, this year is probably a bit spendier than previous because of the quilting for hire and the gallery show investment, but if I’m going to continue showing my work in gallery settings, I know I can expect similar continued costs. On the other hand, I’ve sold some work, some catalogs, and won a prize at a local show, so that should balance things out a bit, right? Nope. I’ve made $338 this year. Yup. All that support the arts, buy handmade, value your work, art is necessary for society, you should do this for exposure, the exposure will lead to something, stuff is a lot of crap. We all know this. These numbers are no surprise. I’m lucky to have a spouse that supports our family so these numbers don’t matter to my day to day survival like they do for so many other artists. I’m just putting the numbers out there to make them more real. Because some days you just have to say it out loud.